6.3Best practices & pitfalls
The essentials in 30 seconds
- Golden rule: you do not communicate to “have said it”, but to be understood and move the relationship and the work forward.
- Do: listen first, adapt the message, choose the channel, structure, speak assertively, proofread.
- Never do: write hot, bury the request, hog the floor, meet with no direction and no trace.
Yasmine thread — 1 year on: three habits that pay
One year on, Yasmine reviews: what counted most was not a technique, but three habits — listening before answering, minding the subject line and the request, and proofreading every important piece of writing. And her biggest trap narrowly avoided: sending a hot email on a tense day.
Pick a single habit to anchor in an existing ritual, then move to the next.
The do's and don'ts of a message that lands
The difference between a message that lands and one that creates noise comes down to a few habits. Here are the ones that come up most.
✓ Do
- Listen before you answer: active listening is the foundation (L0.3).
- Adapt the message to the person and the goal (L0.4).
- Choose the right channel (e-mail, chat, speech, meeting).
- Mind the subject line and get to the point in writing (L1.1, L1.2).
- Structure your speaking in three parts (L3.1).
- Practice assertiveness: speak with respect, neither aggressive nor silent (L4.1).
- Give feedback on facts, not on the person (L4.2).
- Always proofread your professional writing (L2.4).
✗ Avoid
- Writing in the heat of emotion (especially by e-mail).
- A vague subject line or a request buried in the text.
- Monopolizing the floor and not listening.
- Confusing aggressiveness, passivity and assertiveness.
- Blaming the person instead of talking about the behavior.
- Neglecting non-verbal cues (posture, gaze, voice) when speaking.
- Meeting with no goal, no agenda, no record of decisions.
- Sending without proofreading: typos and clumsiness cost credibility.
Ready-to-say script — ask for time before answering hot (30 s)
"This topic touches me; I would rather answer calmly. I will get back to you tomorrow morning with a clear proposal, in writing and then orally if needed."
Copy-paste template — monthly self-check (8 questions)
THIS MONTH (yes / to improve):
1. Listening: did I listen before answering?
2. Adaptation: did I adapt the message to the person?
3. Channel: did I pick the right channel (oral vs written)?
4. Writing: clear subject and request up front?
5. Speaking: talk structured in 3 parts?
6. Assertiveness: said with respect, neither aggressive nor silent?
7. Feedback: on facts, not on the person?
8. Proofreading: writing proofread before sending?
MY PRIORITY NEXT MONTH (only one): ...Small business / tight budget
One habit per quarter is enough: systematic proofreading first, the rest after.
Algeria SME
Fit rituals to peaks and real channels: a habit that survives the rush beats ten resolutions.
Remote / hybrid
The #1 discipline at a distance: say more in writing and check understanding.
Cross-cultural
Check message reception (rephrasing) rather than assuming shared understanding.
48h challenge — apply tomorrow
Fill the monthly self-check above and pick a single priority to anchor in an existing ritual.
- I know the 8 reflexes to adopt and the 8 traps to avoid.
- I have filled the self-check and picked one priority.
- I did the 48h challenge or scheduled its date.
Before sending an important email written in anger, which reflex protects Yasmine?
Golden rule: you don't communicate to “have said it”, but to be understood and move the relationship and the work forward.